Lunching in Clothes

I am a sophisticated lady. I took cotillion, I ride in limos and I certainly always refer to offspring by the word children (only commoners use the word kids). I am Lynette, married to Michael "hottie hot" Buble and mother to Dennis the Menace. All that being said, oh today was such an interesting lunch.

As you know Lynette (is it cool that I refer to myself in the third person?) works part time at The Office. That's right, Michael Scott (Steve Carell) is my boss! He is a funny overly generous boss. I am seriously INCREDIBLY lucky to work for him. But let's not get all sappy now....we aren't about that in this blog! Let's get to the good stuff. Dwight K. Schrute is our sales manager. He is a hilarious single guy who looks more like a talk Bruce Willis (but not to be confused with my dad) than the actual Dwight. So Dwight and I were chillin, I mean working, at the office today and decided all this hard work warranted some fabulous food. I was thinking maybe a little Tavern on the Green, Zodiac Room or The Ivy. Did we go anywhere even remotely close to that..............um NO!

We went to a fine establishment I like to call Women Wearing Zero Clothes! Yep we drove into WWZC and I could tell that my Ann Taylor loft sweater set was just not going to be fitting in too much with the rest of the crowd! Dwight owes me for this one! BIG TIME! Dwight is a single guy, obviously looking for a highly classy woman. Single ladies..........please help a dude out, come one! Why am I subjected to the WWZC! I had to order with my head practically shoved in my menu! I didn't dare ask for more Diet Coke, I might have I mean I was looking damn hot but compared to these women wearing string bikinis and high heels, I might as well have been wearing a burlap potato sack!

And can we just talk about stomach or back hip tattoos? Really those are going to look mighty fine when those girls are pregnant! I mean look at me being the practical one. Do you really want a gigantic butterfly stretched from a cute little 6 inch ditty to a butterfly on steroids covering half of your stretched pregnant stomach. Do you think you could ask your doctor to make sure she cuts around the wings when she does a c-section or else your butterfly might be left wingless? I mean come on classy women do not act that way! Just get some plastic surgery or botox like I do.........end result is much nicer!

Ugh, I need a shower, I swear every man in this joint was staring and/or drooling beyond belief! I thought of course it might have been because of my sweater set but clearly that was not the reason. Ladies, please do not let your husbands frequent this joint, paparazzi is everywhere and we certainly would not want our good names drug through the mud!